Impossible Beloved
by litfic.writer
Summary: Fleeing from Fenrir as Hogwarts burns, Hermione stumbles upon a charmed Timeturner which whisks her away just in time to save her life. But now she's stuck in 1981! Harry's parents are still alive and one black haired marauder is making her pulse race.
1. Chapter 1

_Impossible Beloved by Litfic_Writer_

**Chapter 1**

_**May 2**__**nd**__** 1998**_

His mind worked so fast his scribbling hand could barely keep up. The mathematics of it was mindboggling, for the first time ever Severus Snape almost wished that Remus Lupin could be called in to help. The self-pitying werewolf might not know his hazelwort from his witchraven root but he could have juggled these figures in his head before breakfast.

He'd read all the warnings. Terrible things happened to wizards who messed with time, but looking out at the hoard of giants and dark wizards closing in on the Hogwarts grounds only hardened his resolve. Things could only get worse from here. Nothing he could do in the past was going to make things any more horrific then they were right now.

There was no escape and no way out. And it was as much his fault as anyone else. Maybe more so…

**:.:..:.:..:.:**

_**1**__**st**__** January 1981**_

Sirius Black let out an almighty groan and rolled out of bed, naked onto the cold wooden floor. He was on his feet awake then barely conscious again as he stumbled and bumped his way into the toilet. Pain pulsed through his head like a primitive drum while he peed for what felt like hours.

_Bloody hell, I must have drunk the Leaky dry last night._

Tentatively he let his memories in, one at a time not wanting any more pain then was already ripping behind his eyes. Leaning his head against the cistern he remembered going out with James and Remus and Pete. He remembered a New Years party, and walking in on Pete and some black-haired bird. It looked like she was giving him _head_. Sirius grinned. Go Pete.

He finally finished peeing, shook and stumbled over to the sink to wash his hands. After the party James had left to meet up with Lily somewhere. Apparently they'd had plans of their own for ringing in the New Year. With a snigger Sirius splashed water on his face and almost cried out, the shock of cold water made his brain feel like it might explode.

He looked into the mirror and remembered roaming off into London with Remus. Stumbling in and out of parties the rest of the night was a blur. Somewhere in there Remus had hooked up with some cute blonde bird leaving Sirius to his own devices. Last thing he remembered he was in the Leaky Cauldron drinking his weight in vodka with some leggy red-head.

He opened the mirror cabinet to find some headache tablets. Sirius had learned the hard way that he and magic did not mix when hungover. He frowned at the contents of the cabinet. Lipstick, nail polish, face cream, tampons… This was not his bathroom.

But there were headache tablets. That was a plus.

He swallowed four with a few handfuls of water then crept silently back into the bedroom. Holy fucking shit. The woman on the bed was beyond shaggable. Laying on her stomach the black silk sheet covered her arse but one long shapely leg bent enticingly. Her face was shrouded in a mop of red hair and resting on her folded arms leaving the long perfect line of her back, the delectable swell of tit barely concealed under her body.

The easiest thing in the world would be to crawl back into that bed, may be even wake her up for some slow morning sex. His whole body warmed up with arousal at the thought of an intense, slow-building morning-sex orgasm. But morning sex meant expectations of calls and dates and dating and girlfriends. And Sirius Black was not ready for that, no matter how silky her skin looked.

He picked up his pants, shirt and keys and tiptoed out. He took one last peak at her sleeping form, groaned and closed the door with a soft click.

**:.:..:.:..:.:**

_**May 2**__**nd**__** 1998**_

Hermione pressed her back hard against the stone wall, one hand tightly covering her mouth and nose to prevent even the slightest sound. Silent tears streaked her ash and grime stained face. Harry was dead. The vision shot before her eyes again of the lifeless body of her oldest friend, Hagrid crying so loud it shook the castle walls.

Now she was alone. She remembered running, running so fast through halls once familiar now smoke-filled labyrinth paths. Afraid to stop, afraid to look, the sound of Fenrir's growls and heavy footfalls close on her heels.

How many sets of stairs had she run down? How many passages.

"I can smell you." A low growl sounded close. Too close. "Under the smoke and the death, you're scent calls to me."

She pressed her lips together and shut her eyes. If he knew where she was he would have her by now. She was pressed against an alcove wall, in the shadow and smoke, invisible she hoped.

Heavy steps passed her by. Stopped. Sniffing. Growling. Fenrir was going to find her. He was going to kill her and eat her and worse. Just ahead she could see a set of stairs leading down further to Professor Snape's dungeon. She was pretty sure she could bolt that door from the inside. Of course she would be trapped in a burning castle.

Belatrix words danced through her mind. Such a soft sweet voice, so full of poison as she spoke into Hermione's ear just before she passed out. "If you could choose the manner of your death…" The woman had been speaking in half thoughts between demands for answers.

_I would die slow in my burning home before I let you touch me._ The thought was so clear in Hermione's mind.

Fenrir turned and walked past her again, sniffing and growling. He came so close this time she could have reached out and touched him. She waited and counted ten steps away before he stopped. Now or never.

Hermione shoved herself away from the wall and bolted for the stairs. A roar from behind her just made her feet run faster. Running sliding down the stairs she shoved the big old door open, fell into the dungeon and swung around to slammed the door on the fast approaching werewolf. As he hit the door the bolt slid into place.

Her ragged breaths came in gasps and pants and a hysterical bubble of laughter shook her chest.

Something heavy bashed against the door making the heavy wood crack and the whole room seemed to shake. She wouldn't have long. Turning her eyes darted about the cramped little office-come-dungeon used by Professor Snape.

An ingredients room was to the left a wall of bookshelves to the right, a wide desk filled most of the room. Nowhere to hide. Damn the idea had made more sense before hadn't it? Another room-shaking crash made the door buckle inwards.

Hermione screamed between the hands flying to her mouth. "No!" She let the word roar from her lips. "You will not kill me! Not you. Not YOU!" The last part she screamed so loud her throat hurt.

She ran to the desk. If she was going to die it would be on her terms. Harry was already dead, Ron might be too. There was nothing left for her here and no way out. This was the last and only moment of control she would ever have.

She pulled out draws looking for something sharp or something poison when she noticed what was actually on top of the desk. She'd been so busy looking for a way out she hadn't noticed what Professor Snape had actually been working on.

She picked up what looked like a necklace. It was hard to make out what it was in the smoky gloom but it looked like a - a Timeturner. _Oh sweet heavens!_ As she watched the tiny charm on the long chain spin it started to glow, brighter, brighter till it suddenly stopped spinning with dainty little !ping!.

Fenrir crashed against the door and with a force of sound and broken wood the werewolf smashed through.

The last thing Hermione heard was his enraged roar as she disappeared.

**:.:..:.:..:.:**

_**1**__**st**__** January 1981**_

Sirius finished buttoning his shirt and pants and buckled his belt as he jogged the last few steps down to ground floor of the apartment block Vivian lived in (He was almost seventy percent sure that was her name). Out on the street he held out his wand and jumped back when the Knight Bus pulled up in front of him with a POP and a WHOOSH.

The doors folded open and Frankie's blond head and wide toothy grin greeted him. "Morning, Mr Black." His eyes twinkled mischievously. "I trust you had an eventful and satisfying New Year's Eve?"

"Morning Frankie," Sirius yawned.

"Off home then?"

Sirius nodded and handed Frankie a small pile of coins he was sure would more then cover the trip and Frankie's tight lip. They had this arrangement going for some time now. He grabbed a coffee from the trolley and fell into a seat near the back.

**:.:..:.:..:.:**

When the blur cleared Hermione stood in the same dungeon only the smoke had cleared and she was now being rapidly blinked at by Professor Slughorn.

"Hello my dear," he said as though it was not at all strange to have someone pop out of thin air in his office. "I don't believe we've met. You do know that you're not supposed to be using your timeturner outside of school sessions."

"Um…" Hermione took a breath. "I'm so sorry Professor Slughorn. I was just practising. I'm always so scared that I'm going to make a mistake and miss something important."

He nodded understanding. "Indeed." With a touch to the side of his nose he gave her a wink. "Just don't go getting caught by Headmaster Dumbledore. He never did approve of the things."

"I won't," Hermione replied heading quickly for the door. "I think I have it under control now. Thank you for understanding. I'm sorry I disturbed you." All this was said quickly as she opened the door and dashed out.

Outside the dungeon she quickly ascended the stairs and made her way through the hallways. It looked like she'd been taken back to just before the war. An excited little giggle ticked her throat and nose. If she could just get out of here unseen she could warn Harry of what was to come. She could save him. Maybe even save Dumbledore!

Was it possible that Severus had been planning to do just that? Why would he leave the Timeturner just set like that? Where did he go? Maybe he'd been killed before he could return to use it… But she shook those thoughts away. None of it mattered any more. This was a second chance, like back in Third Year when she and Harry had saved Sirius and Buckbeak.

Her head buzzed with excitement. Voices came close and she ducked out of sight just in time as three girls laughed and chatted happily as they passed by. One dropped her copy of The Daily Prophet on a little side table and continued on.

Hermione flicked out her hand and snatched the newspaper.

**Hopes High for the New Year**

The headline wasn't so shocking, the Prophet was notorious for glossing over or overdramatizing the truth. But the date at the top was less comforting.

Her fingers went numb and the paper fell with a thump to the floor. It was 1981.

Lucky for her most of the students and teachers were on holidays so she easily sneaked, dodged, weaved and ran as fast as she could out of the grounds, grabbed her wand and held it out as she reached the dirt road. With a !POP! the Knight Bus pulled up sharply in front of her and a stranger poked out his head.

"'Ello there, Beautiful. I'm Frankie, you want the Knight Bus?"

"Yes please," she said and pulled out a handful of coins. "Can you just get me out of here?"

"That's what we do, Miss," he replied with a bow. He was taller than Stan and his blond hair was neatly brushed if a little bit shaggy. "Oi! Just a moment." He called out just as she was heading towards a bed.

She spun around and looked at him like a rabbit in the headlights. After so long on the run and hiding and fighting she had her wand ready and the fight or flee was pumping fiercely through her veins.

He looked at her through narrowed eyes. "You wouldn't be runnin' away from school now would ye?"

She almost laughed out loud. Shaking her head she said, "No."

"Good enough for me," he replied and turned away to pull the door closed. "Alright Ernie, let's go."

Hermione fell onto a seat across the aisle from a ragged-looking wizard with long black hair. He looked sort of familiar but she was too exhausted to care.

"Bloody hell, love," the guy said looking her up and down in a sort of horrified curiosity. "I thought I partied hard. Looks like you burned the whole house down."

She laughed so suddenly it came out louder than expected and she slapped a hand over her mouth. "You'd never believe me."

"You'd be surprised." He handed her a coffee. "I'm Sirius Black."

Another laugh bubbled with a note of hysteria so she quickly took a long sip of coffee the hot burn squelching the laugh. "Hermione Granger," she mumbled on autopilot afraid to look at him.

"To surviving till the next New Year's Eve party," Sirius said holding out his mug.

"To a second chances," Hermione toasted and clicked her mug to his, then as an afterthought, "and to never forgetting that an angry werewolf can crash through any door."

"Yeah…" he replied thinking about that. He looked at her suddenly and said, "Hey do you want to get some breakfast? My mate's wife makes the best morning after breakfast in the world."

Her stomach growled eagerly. Hermione couldn't remember the last thing she ate. "Sure."

Her eyes grew heavy. Out of danger her whole body seemed to be shutting down. The coffee she'd been holding left her fingers and her seat tipped back and something soft settled under her head.

The girl was dead-to-the-world, Sirius had never seen anyone so exhausted. He smiled down at the strange girl as she snored obnoxiously on the makeshift bed. A wild mess of curls fell around her face. Pink lips, flushed cheeks, long lashes fluttering in her sleep. She was cute in a weird, ash covered kind of way.

"You know 'er then?" Frankie nodded towards the sleeping girl.

Sirius shook his head. "Nah. I don't think I should leave her alone though."

"She does seem kind of lost."


	2. Chapter 2

_Impossible Beloved by Litfic_Writer_

**Chapter 2**

The knock at the door came just as James and Lily rolled apart after another intense session of morning lovemaking. Uninterrupted sleep and sex had been a rarity since little Harry was born and since the little devil had started sleeping through peacefully they had been catching up and then some.

"I bet you a spanking on that cute ass, that's Sirius," James said without removing the arm covering his eyes.

"I bet you a session of tie-up role-play he's brought some lost girl with him," Lily replied upping the stakes.

They exchanged wide grins and jumped from the warm bed, rapidly donning dressing gowns and pants before racing each other down the steps. Lilly was giggling and they were both out of breath by the time James beat her to the door, grabbing her and pulling his wife in for a heated open mouthed kiss before swinging open the door.

"Sirius! What a surprise." James grinned widely at his oldest friend standing on the doorstep.

Poking her head round the door Lily's eyes widened on the sleeping girl in his arms. "And you're brought a friend."

James and Lily grinned at each other as Sirius stomped between them and up the stairs. "I'm just going to put her down in the spare room." As he mounted the steps he turned to see James shut the door and Lily lean against it, both grinning like mad at him. Rolling his eyes he turned away. "Perverts."

"And loving it," Lily yelled up behind him before falling into another bout of giggles and squeals as her husband closed in.

**:.:..:.:..:.:**

Sirius sighed, deep and tortured as he tried to shut out the sounds of his two friends kissing and laughing downstairs. Nobody should be that happy and content together. Seeing them was an affront to everything he'd learned to believe about men and women and the whole joining of bodies.

He put Hermione down on the spare bed. For a second he thought she might wake up but she let out a little grunt, kicked her leg defensively and kept on snoring. Wow she was out deep. Sirius grinned. And she snored like a lumberjack.

"No… Not you… Not you…" She mumbled into the pillow. "Dead… All dead…" A tear slipped down her cheek and trailed under her chin. "All dead…"

Sirius frowned, watching her, listening. What the hell had happened to this girl last night? Was it possible that she really meant that comment about being chased by a werewolf? Burning castle?

As gently as he could Sirius brushed the wild curls from her face. She wasn't beautiful exactly, not in a classical way but there was something warming about her. Something in the unpainted pink lips and the smattering of freckles across her nose that made her look very young but also very real. She wasn't some fantasy girl one would find in Playwizard or WandRaiser. Holding her in his arms she'd been warm and soft.

With effort he pulled himself away. No. Nope. Not happening. The last thing he needed was to get involved with some lost waif.

When it didn't look like she was going to say anything else or wake up any time soon he slipped out to see James leaning against the wall.

"So what's her story?"

Sirius shrugged. "I met her on the Knight Bus and I don't know. It didn't feel right to just leave her alone."

James looked at him like he'd grown another head.

"What?"

"Nothing." James shook his head and led the way down stairs to the kitchen. "Just, when did you become the saviour of lost damsels?"

"Merlin's Sake," Sirius grunted. "It's not that big a deal, I'm not a total bastard you know?"

"We never thought that, Sirius," Lily said and placed a hot mug off coffee in front of him as he sat at the table. "So you think she's really in danger?"

He took a long sip and let the question wash through his mind. "Who isn't danger right now?"

**:.:..:.:..:.:**

Hermione's eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the morning light filtering through lace curtains. The room was small with light blue walls and a mirror wardrobe against one wall and a sweet little bedside table with flowers.

_Where am I?_

She was pretty sure she wasn't in danger. From her experience Deatheaters didn't live in nice little houses with birds chirping at the windows. The smell of bacon, eggs, pancakes and coffee was heavenly. She was pretty sure a Deatheaters wouldn't be cooking lovely breakfasts either.

She sat up tentatively and felt all her muscles protest. At the bottom of the bed somebody had laid a pretty white house dress, a towel and a couple of tiny bottles of shampoo and conditioner. A door to the left seemed to lead to an ensuite bathroom. Just the thought of a hot shower filled her with longing.

The hot water was pure delight on her sore muscles. The scratches and wounds stung terribly but just the feel and smell of clean made it all worth it. In the steam and spray she soaped every inch of her aching body then washed her hair twice.

By the time she stepped out and wrapped herself in a towel and her hair in another the smell of ash and blood were a memory, a bad dream.

Something tickled the edges of her mind as she stared vacantly into her own reflected eyes.

_FLASH!_ Running through smoke filled halls.

_FLASH!_ Hagrid wailing as though his heart had been ripped from his chest.

_FLASH!_ Something chasing. Heavy footfalls. Hot breath on the back of her throat. A Roar!

Hermione dropped to the floor, covering her ears, shutting her eyes. "No. No, no, no. I don't want to remember. Don't' make me remember."

Voices filtered up from beneath her. A woman laughing. Two men talking. She couldn't hear the words but they were light, pleasant. They reminded her of better times, waking up to hear her parents chatting in the kitchen, or Harry and Ron arguing with Ginny… Was it possible?

As fast her trembling fingers would allow she pulled on her underthings and the dress and bounded down the steps. It had to be, it must be.

As she stood in the archway three heads turned her way. For a second Ginny, Harry and Ron smiled back at her.

"Hey sleepyhead," Ginny said but her voice was different, deeper and sort of smoother.

"Thought we might not see you till Christmas," Harry said.

"Do you remember anything?" Sirius asked.

"S…Sirius?" Hermione shook her head and backed away. Sirius was dead.

"We met on the Knight Bus remember?"

She looked at Harry then at Ginny. Ginny had Harry's green eyes and Harry had Ginny's hazel. Hermione laughed, breathless. "How did you do that?" There was something wrong with Harry… "Where's your scar?"

She blinked and her vision blurred then cleared. Not Ginny, not Harry, Sirius, how was it possible for Sirius to be here.

"Honey, maybe you should come sit down," the red-head who wasn't Ginny said gently. "You're looking pale."

Hermione nodded dumbly and took the offered seat. The moment she was down plates of food were placed under her nose. The pancakes smelt so good, the bacon and eggs better, and the coffee…

Sirius watched, wide-eyed as the young woman practically inhaled her weight in breakfast food. Lily seemed delighted as she dashed around the kitchen cooking just faster than Hermione was eating.

James gave Sirius a look which Sirius returned with a shrug. He knew that look, that _where the hell do you find them_, look. And that he honestly couldn't answer. He did have a knack for picking up the crazy ones.

There was something strangely hypnotic about watching her eat. He'd seen guys eat like that but seeing a woman shovelling food into her mouth was a whole new experience. Sort of exciting.

A long time later Hermione sat back on her seat licking her lips and fingers and looking utterly sated. She seemed calmer now and she looked around the kitchen curiously as she licked the last of the honey from her fingers. She looked at Lily then James, Lily again, almost as though she was wondering if they were real. They said a good meal was good for calming the soul and centring the mind and she'd eaten at least five in the last half hour.

"Been a while since you ate, huh?" Sirius said finally sitting across from her.

"Two – three days." She smiled at Lily. "Thank you Mrs Potter. I dare Molly Weasley herself to cook a better meal."

Lily looked pleased as punch but before she could reply baby Harry let out a wail from his crib upstairs. "Oh, I'll be right back."

When she returned with the wiggling little one Sirius noticed that Hermione got that faraway look in her eyes again. She looked left, right, as though hoping for an escape like a caged animal.

"Hey," Sirius whispered, placing his and over hers. His larger one dwarfed her smaller, delicate hand. The tattoos on his fingers making hers look all the more pure, fragile. "It's only a baby. They don't go for the throat unless threatened." He smiled at his own joke.

She looked at him then back at the baby. She didn't even seem to notice his hand on hers. "Harry." The word whispered from her lips like prayer.

As though possessed she stood and walked to where Lily was preparing a bottle. "May I…" Hermione held out her arms and without question Lily handed baby Harry over.

"His name is Harry," Lily said and Hermione nodded with a smile.

Sirius frowned. But Hermione had already known his name. How? Who was this girl?

A part of him wanted to take the baby from her, move a safe distance away and keep them apart but the look on her face as she gazed at that baby was so full of… affection? Longing? Love. Yes, love.

She played with his pudgy hands, fingered his thicket of black hair and finally with fingers that shook, caressed her thumb over his clear, blemish-free forehead. Her bottom lip trembled and she blinked hard as though holding back tears.

He didn't know how he knew but he just did, he felt it in his bones in the very core of his soul. This woman he barely knew, who shouldn't know them at all loved that baby and would die to protect him. The sun broke through the curtains behind her and Sirius could only stare. Wild curls fell around her shoulders; the white dress shimmered over her curves. For the merest moment she glowed like an angel.

"Who are you?" Sirius' voice cracked with the words.

She looked at him, the curtains shifted and the moment was gone. He watched the emotions shadow across her face and knew the moment she had made a decision.

Her response was not what he expected. "You need to call a meeting with the Order of the Phoenix. Tonight."


End file.
